The Beard Made me Do it.

Now before we get any further into this ‘I write something, and hopefully you read it’ relationship I feel obliged to tell you that baseball will be at the very core of most of my writings.  It may not be apparent at first but in time it will all become very clear to you.

So with that said, let’s talk facial hair.  Beards are awesome.  And I am not talking Johnny Depp Pirates of the Caribbean beard.  I am talking full on, gnarly Tom Hanks Castaway type beards.   Ok, maybe not that much but you get the picture.

I know what you are asking yourself.  Do I have a beard?  And yes I do.  It is a very nice beard too.  However, it is no relation to the beards of Jayson Werth, Johnny Damon circa 2004, Harry from the Hendersons, or Allen from the Hangover.  My beard is my very own.   But we are not here to talk about my beard.  Don’t laugh, that may come up.

I want to bring attention to Jayson Werth.  The 30-year-old right fielder for the Phightins showed up to Clearwater this past February with not only a chip on his shoulder, and with good reason; killer season, but also some excess facial hair.  At one point in the season last year, I thought Werth was a burn victim with the way his, excuse my French, D-Bag tag was crafted on his chin.  There were times in the season he seemed tight, and frigid.  He was ending swings on one knee and looked confused on breaking pitches.  Now I am not trying to take anything way from his career year.  He was amazing for the Phillies.  He just needed an edge.  And I think he has it.  Werth looks more limber, stronger, and more relaxed.  He also looks like he just got back from excursion in Alaska’s deep snowdrifts.

I don’t care.  The beard needs to stay.  This could be his strength.  Like Sampson and his hair, like Sloth and his Baby Ruth, hell like Pig Pen and that damn cloud of dust.  A gentlemen’s one-two punch to all the critics out there that say professional athletes need to look, well, ‘professional.’

The thing you have to understand here is there is really no scientific proof that a beard can improve performance.  But let us not forget certain people of history with amazing facial fuzz.  There was George Clooney in Perfect Storm, Jesus, Rick Ross, Charlie Daniels, and Allen from the Hangover.  I think you get the point.

Keep the beard.  If you do anything else, just keep the beard.  Well that and win another Championship.  Not too much to ask.

You can follow me on Twitter @kierancarobine

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “The Beard Made me Do it.

  1. I find it interesting that you named George Clooney before Jesus in your “bearded people from history” list.

    I guess its justifable, being that George Clooney is a God among men and, well, Jesus is just the son-of-God among men.

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